The Ability To Pursue Joy

We knelt in a circle, heads bowed and arms around each others shoulders. I could feel my own body shake and my heart beat like an overexcited marching band. The beads of sweat on the four of our heads and palms were forgotten in this moment of brotherly love and exuberance. "We pray that our music tonight would bring your joy and love to our audience, and that this first concert would glorify you, God." Vince's voice was thick with emotion, as his slow blessing met each of our ears. His shoulders trembled, synchronized with ours. The "Amen" echoed as we each spoke out our belief. But that echo reverberating in my head was instantly joined by another sound, a sound that sent a shiver of anticipation down my spine. The crowds wild cheers filled my head, a deafening yet distant roar that overwhelmed my senses. We stood and walked out onto the stage.

Nothing could have prepared me for that moment, that first step marking a new era in my life. The smell of new wood and perspiration filled my nostrils, and the taste of excitement on my tongue brought a wave of heat across my face. There before me was an expanse of blackness like a canyon at night. Lights glared with intense heat and brightness, and although my vision was rendered useless, the utter brilliance of the noise that erupted from that black expanse told me that the wonderful yet terrifying audience could see me.

I stepped into position on the right side of the stage. Euphoria welled inside me as I looked to see Vince, Brandon and Jeremy preparing their instruments, their eyes glassy with awe. I myself swung the strap of my Gibson SG electric guitar over my shoulder, and ran my wet palm down the smooth and familiar neck of my beloved instrument. A thought overwhelmed me, and penetrated my very heart. Here, on stage with my brothers, I was home. No feeling of contentedness in all my life compared to this moment, where dreams and reality and friendship and music all collided in one magnificent moment.

And now the moment was here, as each of our arms raised in preparation for that first deafening note. My fingers moved effortlessly into position, gliding with little resistance along the rough strings. Our arms fell towards our instruments in unison, guitar picks and drum sticks flying with expert precision in downward motion. Everything became slow as time lost its meaning and my senses were filled with that first glorious, resounding note. My ears dove into the noise, my legs shook with the power of the sound. My eyes took in the looks of joy on the crowd's now visible faces, and my fingers flew across the fretboard as naturally as a bird flies. My own voice filled the concert hall as I leaned into the microphone, our endlessly rehearsed harmonies washing over the crowd like a wave.

Each song brought bliss beyond compare to me and my fellow musicians, and I was wholly unaware of the crowds reaction to each song. I don't remember when we started a song or when we finished, as our whole set became a milestone blur of joy and sound, intertwined to become nothing less than perfection in my eyes. As I belted out my final notes, I wondered if we would receive an encore. In my confusion and abundant excitement I worriedly wondered what song we would play. And although we never did receive an encore, I received something much greater.

I received the realization that passion can meet reality, and moments can redefine joy and maturity for each of us, even when we do not realize it. In my life leading up to that concert and even in the moments prior to stepping onto that stage, I didn't know what true joy looked like in my life. But that feeling of comfort and passion that I found when I stepped onto that stage was without a doubt true joy. And to me, that's what maturity is. The ability to find my true passion, and having the commitment and will-power to pursue that passion for the rest of my life. Because of that, this concert was the single most important milestone on my journey to maturity.